


this was a horrible idea

by sheaco



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Friendship, Im not good at tagging, M/M, Pining, Underage Drinking, angst?? idk, chatfic, horrible nicknames, skype messaging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2018-07-18 06:28:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7303204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheaco/pseuds/sheaco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo makes a group chat. Everybody gets memed sooner or later</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kuroo isn't okay

**Author's Note:**

> IM MAD I MADE THE FIRST CHAPTERE IN LIKE 30 MINUTES AND IT WAS REALLY GOOD THEN MOST OF IT GOT DELETED AGHHHHHH i hate everything

Kuroo Tetsurou thought he had a good idea. Boy, was he wrong.

 

**gay cATS added alienboi to this conversation**

**gay cATS added dead dad to this conversation**

**gay cATS added brokuto bro to this conversation**

 

**(1:35pm)**

**gay cATS: fuck yeah**

**gay cATS: also, daichi why is your name dead dad**

**alienboi: what the fuvk is this**

**dead dad: Oh. About that Suga and the others changed it and I don't know how to change it back**

**brokuto bro: why was i added last bro**

**brokuto bro: im hurt**

**gay cATS: im sorry bro i didnt mean it**

**gay cATS: i can add someone else sou youre not last**

**brokuto bro: nope its too late to apologize its too late,,,,,**

 

**gay cATS added farmer to this conversation**

 

**alienboi: is it who i think it is**

**alienboi: im gonna shoot myself**

**alienboi: i hate everything**

**farmer: Hello.**

**brokuto bro: IS ME I WAS WONDERING IF ALFTER ALL THESE YEARES YOU D LIKE TO MEAT**

**gay cATS: did someone say MEAT**

**alienboi: IM GONNA SHOOT MYSELF**

**alienboi: FUCK YOU USHIWAKA I HAT E YOU**

**farmer: That's a shame. I thought we were finally getting along Tooru**

**alienboi: WHO THE FUCK SAID YOU COULD CALL ME TOORU NOT MY ASS THATS FOR SURE**

**alienboi: im leaving**

 

**alienboi has left the conversation**

**gay cATS has added alienboi to this conversation**

 

**gay cATS: so who wants to talk about how cute kenma is?? or how he should be my boyfriend because i love him a lot?? and how he deserves love?/// hes so cute i wanna cuddle him all the time and hug him and kiss him he is the best i ove him a lot like so much i could explode because of how much i love hi,**

**gay cATS: if he was my boyfriend id buy him all the video games and i d kiss an dhug hm all day i would buy anything he wants that boy could punch me in the face and i would be 10x happier thank for letting me tal about kenma i love him a lot**

 

**alienboi added kenma to this conversation**

 

**gay cATS: FUVK**

**gay cATS: KENMA DONT LOOK AT THAT**

**gay cATS: OH FUCK HE MADE A CUTE ANNOYED FACE AT HIS GAME**

**alienboi: have fun~**

**kenma: ...**

**gay cATS: FUCK KENMA IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN I DIDDNT MEAN IT I PROMISE**

 

**kenma has left the conversation**

 

**gay cATS: PSA: I HATE OIKAWA TOORU ITS OFFICIAL I HATE HIM WITH ALL MY DEAD HEART**

**dead dad: Sorry, I was shopping. What did I miss?**

**dead dad: Oh**

**dead dad: oh,**

 

**☆**

 

**(4:55pm)**

**gay cATS: i hate myself**

 

**brokuto bro named this conversation kuroo protection squad**

 

**brokuto bro: whats wrong bro**

**gay cATS: kenma hates me he left my house 10 minutes after he saw the chat and didnt even tell me he left he didnt let me walk him home what if he got kidnapped,,**

**alienboi: calm down boy. he probably doesnt hate you. you guys have been best friends for the longest time**

**gay cATS: exactly thats why he hates me**

**brokuto bro: are you sure he hates you?**

**alienboi: have you tried talking to him?**

**brokuto bro: hes got a point bro**

**dead dad: I believe Oikawa is right. The only way you are going to solve this is if you talk to him. Just because he hasn't talked to you doesn't mean he hates you. He could be thinking about what you said. You can't break a bond that is as strong as your relationship with Kenma. Talk to him and if he doesn't feel the same way say that you guys can still be friends and he shouldn't be uncomfortable around you, you are the same as you were before.**

**alienboi: i now know why they call you the dad of your team**

**brokuto bro: good jod dadchi that was a great speech**

**alienboi: DADCHI??! IM DECEASED OML**

**alienboi: thank you bokuto that was gr8**

**gay cATS: i cant talk to him im h=just not gonna talk to him**

**farmer: Oh boy**

**alienboi: you cant not talk to him**

**alienboi: he deserves an explanation**

**brokuto bro: you could be hurting him by not talking to him. what if he wants you to talk to him first**

**gay cATS: bye**

**dead dad: Good luck Kuroo**

**alienboi: good luck kuroo-chan**

**farmer: Good luck**

**brokuto bro: good luck bro ill be here**

**dead dad: We'll be here for you**

 

 

 


	2. oh oikawa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i want to updste this daily but i dont know maybe weekly? probably weekly. i will update next saturday i will be at camp till saturday so late saturday and update will happen thnks for reading

**(10:39pm)**

**gay cATS: i havent done anything fuck me**

**alienboi: no thanks man**

**dead dad: You haven't done anything? Aw man**

**brokuto bro: you made dadchi sad bro**

**farmer: What is going on?**

**alienboi: shut up dickface no one invited you**

**farmer: Actually, Kuroo did. If I remember correctly**

**alienboi: fuck off**

**dead dad: Calm down guys. We are here to comfort Kuroo**

**gay cATS: shit i dont need comforting you ass hats**

**dead dad: That's not a way to talk to your friends, is it Tetsurou?**

**alienboi: oh shit waddup**

**brokuto bro: dadchi dadchI dadcHI dadCHI daDCHI dADCHI DADCHI**

**farmer: Oh boy**

**alienboi: what the fuck ushiwaka get out**

 

**farmer has left the chat**

 

**alienboi: yay~**

**gay cATS: SAWAMURA DAICHI**

**dead dad: Yes?**

**gay cATS: WHAT THE FUCK**

**dead dad: PSA: Everyone needs to go to sleep for it is late. Sleep well captains.**

**alienboi: you wish daichi**

**gay cATS: nice try**

**brokuto bro: hol on**

 

**☆**

 

**(1:01am)**

**alienboi: im gay**

**alienboi: im so gay**

**alienboi: im really gay for iwa-chan**

**alienboi: help**

**alienboi: why have i just now realized this**

**alienboi: what the fuvk**

**alienboi: this isnt okay**

**alienboi: FUCK**

 

**☆**

 

**(2:08am)**

**brokuto bro added Akaashi Keiji to this conversation**

 

**brokuto bro: o shit waddup**

**brokuto bro: wait wheres dat boi**

**brokuto bro: i need him**

**brokuto bro: fuck**

 

**☆**

 

**(5:56am)**

**gay cATS: i cant do this**

****gay cATS: i cant fucking do this** **

******gay cATS: i hate myself so much** ** **

********gay cATS: oh my god i didnt knwo you could hate yourself so much** ** ** **

**********gay cATS: wo w i didnt kniw this was possible** ** ** ** **

 

**********gay cATS named this conversation i hate mysl\ef** ** ** ** **

 

************gay cATS: hahah fuvk** ** ** ** ** **

**************gay cATS: this is not okay ]** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

**************☆** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

**************(1:58pm)** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************dead dad: Well, looks like I have some things to look through** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************dead dad: Lets start with Oikawa** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************dead dad: It seems he has finally realized his feelings for his beloved Iwa-chan.** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************alienboi: what the fuck** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************dead dad: Oikawa, we are all glad you have realized your feelings for him. The look you give him makes everyone want to vomit.** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************dead dad: Bokuto, you don't actually have a problem do you? Or are you just looking for a dat boi?** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************dead dad: Anyways, Kuroo. Kuroo you are loved. I love you, Bokuto loves you and I'm not sure about Oikawa but he has to love you in one way or another.** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************alienboi: ypu wish kuroo** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************dead dad: You have many friends that would give up the world for you, please appreciate yourself as much as you appreciate them.** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

**************☆** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

**************(2:26pm)** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************dead dad: Uh sorry, Suga took my phone. What did he say?** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************alienboi: why** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************brokuto bro: i need my dat boi** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************gay cATS: i knew it you cant give advice likehat** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************alienboi: ....** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

**************gay cATS added farmer to this conversation** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

**************alienboi: ah fuck me in the ass jeus christ god damn it kuroo** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************gay cATS: tell suga i said thanks**  
** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************dead dad: Will do** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************dead dad: He said "Anything for my dearest Kuroo" and winked** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************gay cATS: okay** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************farmer: Hello. What have I missed in this chat?** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: we all fucked your mom at once** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************farmer: Seems like fun** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: may do g fuck me** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************brokuto bro: may dog fuck you?** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************gay cATS: beastiality** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: fuck off you all knew i meany god** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

****************farmer added Iwaizumi Hajime to this conversation** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

****************alienboi: what the fuck** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: why the fuck does farmr hav you on skype iwa-chan** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: im surprised** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: WAIT FUCK** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: IWA DON TLOOK AT THE OTHER MESSAGES** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: FUC** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************dead dad: Oh boy.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************Iwaizumi Hajime: Why can't I Shittykawa** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: BECAUSE I SAID SO** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************Iwaizumi Hajime: Too late** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************Iwazumi Hajime: Oh** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: JESUS MOTHER FUCKIN CHRIST FUCK ME IN THE GOD DAMN ASSHLEL PLAES** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: IM GOING TO SHOOT MY SELF IN THE FACE** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************gay cATS: have fun** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

 

****************☆** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

****************dead dad: Are you okay Oikawa?** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: why are you messagong me out of the chat** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************dead dad: Because I'm worried about you. Is that wrong of me?** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: why was iwaizumi added** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************dead dad: I sadly don't know Oikawa. I'm sorry.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: im such a dick head everykne htes m** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: im sorry** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************dead dad: There is no reason to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong, I promise. If you ever need to talk to someone please contact me.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: thank you** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

****************☆** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

****************(5:03pm)** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************dead dad named the conversation I Love Daichi** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

****************gay cATS: a little full of yourself i see daichi i didnt know** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************brokuto bro: wow i didnt know he was** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: good for you dai-chan** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

****************☆** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

****************(7:56pm)** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************dead dad: Sorry guys, Suga and I were hanging out.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************dead dad: Oh** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************dead dad: I have to go** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************alienboi: bye** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************brokuto bro: ohohhoh** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

****************gay cATS: ohohohohohoho** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh thank you guys so much for the comments and kudos it means a lot to me thank you!! (⌒▽⌒) This chapter could've been longer and I'm sorry it isn't but I wanted to get it up while I still have my phone.

**(11:55pm)**

 

**alienboi: daichi~**

**alienboi: what happened with that setter of yours?**

**dead dad: ...**

**brokuto bro: he's speechless**

**gay cATS: daichi is broken**

**alienboi: nothing happened?**

**dead dad: Uh, yeah. Nothing happened**

**gay cATS: you're so gay**

**alienboi: you have feelings for him （＾_＾）**

**dead dad: Not really. I mean I like him as a friend and that's it**

**alienboi: sure~**

**gay cATS: did you break his heart like the monster you are**

**brokuto bro: WHAT ABOUT THE BABY CROWS**

**brokuto bro: THE FAMILY HAS BEEN BROKEN WHAT ABOUT MY SON HINATA**

**brokuto bro: IS HE OKAY AFTER THE DIVORCE**

**farmer: What is the commotion about my friends?**

**dead dad: Uh, I don't think I broke his heart.**

**gay cATS: daichi you are oblivious to feelings**

**alienboi: you broke his heart**

**brokuto bro: what about my crow son**

**dead dad: Are you sure I hurt him?**

**alienboi: yes**

 

**⭐️**

 

**dead dad: Hey**

**SugaMama: Hi Daichi**

**SugaMama: Is there something you need?**

**dead dad: I wanted to talk to you. To make sure you're okay**

**SugaMama: Why wouldn't I be okay**

**dead dad: Because the other captains said I might have broken your heart**

**SugaMama: What the fuck**

**SugaMama: Why do they need to know what's going on. That was the most ignorant thing you've ever said.**

**dead dad: Sorry Suga**

 

**⭐️**

 

**(1:22am)**

 

**dead dad: I made it worse**

**gay cATS: how can you make it worse**

**dead dad: I messaged him to see if he was okay after you guys told me I broke his heart and I mentioned what you guys said and he got mad at me**

**alienboi: now that I think about it he probably wasnt upset just a little sad maybe**

**dead dad: Well fucking thanks Oikawa**

**brokuto bro: oh man dadchi is mad**

**gay cATS: youre gonna get your head ripped off oiks**

**alienboi: good luck trying to catch me dai-chan~**

**dead dad: I'll get Iwaizumi to do it for me**

**alienboi: iwa-chan would never hurt me ☆〜（ゝ。∂）**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: Yes I would**

**alienboi: youre still here?**

**alienboi: what the fuck**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: I'll rip his head off for you Daichi**

**dead dad: Thanks**

**Akaashi Keiji has left the conversation**

 

**brokuto bro: AKAGSHI**

**gay cATS: gr8 spelling bro**

 

**brokuto bro added Akaashi Keiji to this conversation**

 

**Akaashi Keiji: I am flabberghasted how you managed to spell my name wrong when it's right in front you Bokuto-san.**

**gay cATS: lmao he said flabberghasted**

**alienboi: nerd**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: Look who's talking Trashykawa**

**alienboi: rude™ iwa-chan**

**brokuto bro: AKAAAAAADHI**

**Akaashi Keiji: Wow**

**Akaashi Keiji: Thank you Bokuto-san for the best spelling of my name**

**brokuto bro: NONPRONLE AKAGSHILGAY**

**alienboi: he added gay**

**gay cATS: its cause he's gay for akaashi**

**brokuto bro: BROO I THOUGHT YOU WERENT GONNA TELM ANYONE**

**Akaashi Keiji: I'm flattered Bokuto-san**

**brokuto bro: IS ATHAT A LGGO D RII G**

**Akaashi Keiji: I suppose so**

**Akaashi Keiji: Well, I've got to go to bed and you should too Bokuto-san.**

**brokuto bro: OAKY AKKASHI**

**brokuto bro: HODD NIGBT**

 


	4. oikawa and his daddy kink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to a commenter i got it to work thank YOU !!!!!!!!!! ill upload again later in the week thank you guys for being patient with me and im flabberghasted at how many hits this fanfiction has gotten thank you guys a lot

**(9:48am)**

 

**alienboi: young man**

**gay cATS: THERES NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN**

**brokuto bro: I SAID YOUNG MAN**

**alienboi: PICK YOURSELF OFF THE GROUND**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: No thanks**

**alienboi: iwa-chan :((((((((((((((((((((((**

**alienboi: why must u wound me in such a way**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: You need to Stop™**

**gay cATS: SALTY**

**alienboi: HAJIME**

**alienboi: where have u learened these things**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: Learned***

**alienboi: im offended**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: Good for you**

 

**☆**

 

**(12:08pm)**

 

**alienboi: i like to imagine having sex with iwa-chan**

**gay cATS: WHAT THE FUCK**

**alienboi: sometimes im in between his legs or hes behind me**

**dead dad: Um**

**gay cATS: im scared for life**

**Akaashi Keiji: I don't think any of us needed to know of this particularly private part of your life**

**alienboi: if im a good boy sometimes daddy will give me extra cummies**

**dead dad: Please stop**

 

**gay cATS named this conversation _please stop oikawa 2k16_**

 

 

**✩**

 

**(1:35pm)**

 

**alienboi: ehatnthe fuck**

**alienboi: that wasnot me**

**alienboi: i swear**

**alienboi: it was makki**

**alienboi: makki has a daddy kink**

**alienboi: not me**

**gay cATS: sure**

**alienboi: I SWEAR**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: Actually I think he does**

 

**Akaashi Keiji has left the conversation**

 

**gay cATS: spill the bena s**

**dead dad: Please don't**

**alienboi: IWA-CHAN**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: One time I saw him reading an article titled 'How To Cure Your Daddy Kink'**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: I'm not sure what he was doing but yeah**

**alienboi: ive been betraye d**

 

**☆**

 

**(2:01pm)**

**alienboi: daddy makes me feel so good inside**

**alienboi: he fills me with his big giant cock**

**alienboi: gives me extra cummies**

**alienboi: i love my daddy**

**alienboi: and he loves me**

**alienboi: but sometimes daddy is mean but he makes up for it ;0**

**farmer: I could be your new daddy**

**dead dad: jesus fucking christ**

**dead dad: keep this to yourself setter boy**

**dead dad: this is tanaka and noya btw**

**alienboi: sometimes daddy wraps me up and ties me to the bed and we go at it for hours ;)))))**

**gay cATS: im gonna kill myself**

**dead dad: arent wwe all**

 

**☆**

 

**(2:32pm)**

 

**alienboi: i swear it s not me**

**alienboi: its makki**

**alienboi: i do NOT havce fggf a daddy  kink**

**alienboi: yes i do akjklhfh**

**alienboi: ITS MAKKI DOING THIS NOT NJ12KJKKJK**

**alienboi: JK**

**alienboi: its me doing this**

**alienboi: itS NO T**

**dead dad: Anyone care to elaborate?**

**gay cATS: oikawa has a daddy kink and is pretending makki is stealing his phone and writing these things and also pretending to fight over his phone**

**dead dad: Makes sense**

 

**☆**

 

 **(2:54pm)**  


**alienboi: FILL ME WITH YOUR GINT COCK DADDY**

**alienboi: PLEASE MY ANUS IS ACHING FOR IT**

**alienboi: I WANNA FEEL TOU IN SIDE OF ME**

**alienboi: PLESSE DADDY FILL ME WITH YOU R GIANT ACHING COCK**

**dead dad: OH MY GOD**

**alienboi: are jealous u dont have a daddy as good as mne**

**dead dad: nope nope nope**

 

**☆**

 

**(3:25pm)**

 

**alienboi: I SEWAER ITS NOR ME**

**alienboi: I PROMISE**

**gay cATS: youre tearing this family apart**

**alienboi: :'c**

**brokuto bro: what family**

**gay cATS: this family**

**brokuto bro: im confused d**

**gay cATS: our family bro D:**

**alienboi: okay i guess we re off this topic**

**brokuto bro: what topic**

**gay cATS: oikawa and his daddy kink**

**brokuto bro: you have been kinkshamed**

**alienboi: no**

**alienboi: i dont have a daddy kink**

**gay cATS: yes you do**

**alienboi: I DO NOT HAVE A DADDY KINK**

**gay cATS: why the fuck you lyin why you always lyin mmm oh my god stop fuckin lyin**

**alienboi: im leaving**

 

**☆**

 

**(5:17pm)**

 

**alienboi: WHY IS KUROO OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WITH A STEREO BLASTING THAT LYING SONG THING**

**alienboi: WHAT THE FUCKITY**

**alienboi: MY MOM JUST CAME INTO MY ROOM  AND LOOKED THROUGH THE WINDOW AND SHOOK HER HEAD AT ME**

**alienboi: WHY**

 

**☆**

 

**(6:29pm)**

 

**alienboi: fuck me**

**alienboi: suck me**

**alienboi: love me**

**alienboi: i wanna deep throat daddy**

**gay cATS: stop it please**

**alienboi: ill stop when i wanna**

 

**☆**

 

**(7:36pm)**

 

**alienboi: I SWEAR TO GOD ITS MAKKI NOT ME**

 

 


	5. lets have a chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry im bad at updating i think ill try to update every other week we'll see. also MCR AND OIKAWA'S BIRTHDAY WAH MAN   
>  and its short because i really wanted to upload it today  
> headcanon: oikawa is a secret emo

(7:47pm)

 

**dead dad: This daddy kink has gotten out of hand**

**gay cATS: i agree**

**brokuto bro: as do i**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: I also agree**

**alienboi: ITS NOT ME**

**alienboi: MAKKI RUNS OFF WITH MY PHONE AND MATTSUN FOLLOWS AND IVE SEEN SOME PICTURES ON MY PHONE I DIDNT WANT TO SEE**

**alienboi: THEY ARE NOW ETCHED INTO MY BRAIN**

**gay cATS: what the fuvk did they take pictures of**

**alienboi: dirty things, dirty, dirty things**

**gay cATS: ew what the fuvk**

**alienboi: im leaving**

 

**☆**

 

(12:45pm)

 

**alienboi: MCRX WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT**

**alienboi: IMSO HAPPY**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: Nerdykawa**

**alienboi: iwa-chan D:**

**alienboi: i know you guys dont know how secretly emo i am but i love  mcr so so so so so much i cried when they broke up and im crying now**

**alienboi: i love life**

**alienboi: i love everything**

**farmer: Hello**

**alienboi: get outta here k**

 

**☆**

 

(4:58pm)

 

**alienboi: why is ther balloons in the club room**

**alienboi: and a cake**

**alienboi: where is everyone**

**alienboi: FUCK ME**

**alienboi: im dead**

**alienboi: they scared me**

 

**☆**

 

(9:37pm)

 

**gay cATS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY**

**dead dad: HAPPY BIRTHDAY**

**brokuto bro: HAPPY BIRTHDAY**

**alienboi: thank you**

**alienboi: today has been the best day**

**alienboi: thanks you guys**

 

☆

 

(3:03am)

 

**alienboi: i love you guys**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: Go to sleep**

**alienboi: okay hajime :)**

**alienboi: night**

 

**☆**

 

(11:23am)

 

**dead dad: We love you Oikawa**

**brokuto bro: ^^^^^^^^^^^^ ,3**

**gay cATS: ^^^^^ <3**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: Love you**

**gay cATS: !!!!!!**

 

 

 

 


	6. meme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!!!! i went through and all the comments you guys left and they just made me so happy so i had to write another chapter. thank you guys so much for the nice comments, kudos, hits, everything,, i love you guys all so much and thank you !!!! (also i gave myself the feels when i wrote the last chapter) im very sorry i havent written or updated anything for 3 months and SEASON THREE CAME OUTT

(4:57)

 

**gay cATS: so, does anybody wanna talk about what happened earlier**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: I don't know what you're talking about**

**gay cATS: sure you dont**

**gay cATS: come on iwa-chan ;) fess up boi**

**brokuto bro: fess up boi ;))**

**dadchi: I don't believe he has to tell you anything if he does not wish to do so.**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: Thank you**

**alienboi: hajime ;))))))))**

**alienboi: i have a date to go to**

**alienboi: goodbye bbys**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: I have to go too, bye**

**gay cATS: i smell somthng fishy**

**brokuto bro: oh me oh man**

**-**

 

(7:07)

 

 

**alienboi: hello**

**alienboi: did you guy miss me**

**gay cATS: no**

**alienboi: kys**

**gay cATS: no thansk**

**alienboi: _What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo._**

**gay cATS: ohoh i got something better**

**gay cATS: What the desu did you just fucking desu about me, you little desu? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my desu in the Navy Desus, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret desus on Al-Desu, and I have over 300 confirmed desus. I am trained in desu warfare and I’m the top desu in the entire US armed desu. You are nothing to me but just another desu. I will desu you the fuck out with desu the likes of which has never been seen before on this desu, mark my fucking desu. You think you can get away with saying that desu to me over the desu? Think again, desu. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of desu across the USA and your desu is being traced right now so you better prepare for the spam, maggot. The spam that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your desu. You’re fucking desu, kid. I can be desu, desu, and I can desu you in over desu ways, and that’s just with my bare desu. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed desu, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Desu and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable desu off the face of the desu, you little desu. If only you could have known what unholy desu your little “desu” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking desu. But you desu, you desu, and now you’re desu, you goddamn desu. I will shit desu all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking desu, kiddo.**  
 

**brokuto bro: good shit bro**

**gay cATS: thanksbro**

**alienboi: _killyoursleves-1.png_**

**gay cATS: well, aint that rude**

**alienboi: you deserve it**

**gay cATS: i hope you die**

**alienboi: me too**

**gay cATS: aye, dont get emo on me**

**alienboi: when you play in a match im gonna slaughter yiu**

**alienboi: be ready ]**

**alienboi: gotta bkady y**

**gay cATS: what the fuci**

 

**-**

 

 

(10:58)

 

 

**alienboi: fuck me dadi**

**alienboi: pls**

**alienboi: i need yu big throbbingm ei ]**

**alienboi: i asche for you papi**

**gay cATS: o my gd no this agsn**

**gay cATS: kys**

 

 

 

 


	7. oh boi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah there, hey yall ots been like 2 months, im sorry, im losing motivation and need to do better on school, i wnt to up load as much as possibe during the break, i hope you enjoyed !! ♡✧。 (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡

(11:07)

 

 

**gay cATS: is oikawa oaky**

**brokuto bro: 9dk is he osky ?**

**dadchi: ?**

**farmer: What does oaky mean?**

**gay cATS: its okay you dipshit**

**farmer: What's okay?**

**gay cATS: wtf**

**farmer: I am confused**

 

 

**☆**

 

 

 

(2:58)

 

 

**alienboi: p honestlny**

**alienboi: liek what how**

**alienboi: ho wwas earth even firmdf**

**alienboi: it had t9i be th ealiemd s rgth ?**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: Are you drunk?**

**alienboi: no=ien**

**alienboi: silly iwa chsn**

**alienboi: judt bevayse the lliquir cabunet is i]open and my parents are out of toewn dosn ]**

**alienboi: antyhting**

**alienboi: do you not trust me ?**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: I do. I just want to make sure you're safe**

**alienboi: aww**

**alienboi: iwa chan is so sweet :')**

**Iwaizumi Hajime: I'll be over in a minute**

**alienboi: no need bbg**

** alienboi: its all gud int his hoood B) \ **

** alienboi: but i M lobrly so i dk come over if you want ;))) **

** alienboi: im tirss  **

 

** ☆ **

 

(3:00)

**alienboi: iwa chan lied**

**alienboi: he isnt here ye t ]**

**alienboi: fusck**

**alienboi: that boi beter hutry his as s yo**

 

**☆**

 

(3:03)

 

** alienboi: iwa scbjiue is her e **

** alienboi: (´∀｀)♡ **

** alienboi: i louv e i wa chan  **

** alienboi: hia arms are so dsritign  **

** alienboi: ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) **

** alienboi: he broght me snacks !!!!! **

** gay cATS: good luck with him iwaizumi **

 

** ☆ **

 

(4:23)

 

** alienboi: we jusy finishe d a mivie whti aliens ]] **

** alienboi: ♡〜ლ(๑癶ᴗ癶๑)ლ〜♡ **

** alienboi: i hope iwa chan never l3wves me  **

** alienboi: he jkust fell asleep in my lap  **

** alienboi: i love thiw boi\ **

** alienboi: ♡✧。 (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡ **

** alienboi: so blessed  **

** alienboi: so moved  **

** alienboi: so grateful fir this moment in mt ife never gonna take it for granite  **

** brokuto bro: woah there buddy 3thtas a little gay  **

** gay cATS: i agree with bo **

** dadchi: Why are you guys up at this hour? And Oikawa, you need to be more responsible. Take care of yourself please.  **

** dadchi: I have things to do. goodnight guys **

** gay cATS: night daichi, you forgot to capatalize g in goodnight \ **

** alienboi: i guess i'll go to sleep  **

** alienboi: goodnight guys i love you  **

 

** ☆ **

 

(7:37)

 

 

** farmer: good morning **

** alienboi: ouch, my head hurts **

** dadchi: Good morning. **

** alienboi: hoe do i grt my head to stop hurting **

** gay cATS: hoe **

** brokuto bro: hoe **

** alienboi: yameTE!!1!111!!! **

** dadchi: Drink some water and rest. Maybe take a pill as well **

** alienboi: thanls dai **

 

 

 

 


	8. bonding moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oikawa and bokuto have a moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohohohohoh boy this"ll only have nine chapters because this fic really has no point and i keep up with the new memes dont worry ;)

(12:20)

 

**dadchi: I hope you guys have a productive day**

**gay cATS: bless**

**gay cATS: daichi you are so kind**

**alienboi: is it productive if i have a self care day**

**dadchi: Yes**

**alienboi: okay good cause i dontthnk i can do anythng else**

**gay cATS: good luck oikawa**

**alienboi: thanks bob**

**gay cATS: wtf**

**gay cATS: bob?**

**alienboi: shhhh**

**brokuto bro: bob**

**gay cATS: kys**

**alienboi: on it**

**gay cATS: smh**

 

**☆**

 

 

(4:31)

 

**alienboi: i just git my nails done**

**alienboi: they loo k so gud**

**alienboi: iwa chan likes them too ;)**

**gay cATS: pics or it didnt happen**

**alienboi: iwaizumihappy.jpg**

**gay cATS: not of iwaizumi you dip**

**alienboi: its still a good picture ;)**

**alienboi: aliennails.jpg**

**gay cATS: of course theyre alien nails**

**dadchi: Those look cool. I wonder if Suga would be willing to get acrylics**

**gay cATS: ohohoh**

**alienboi: damn daichi**

**alienboi: you getting spicy**

**alienboi: and i bet he would ;)))))  
**

**gay cATS: damn mami**

**dadchi: ??? Mami? Who is that**

**gay cATS: jesus daichi, i knew you werent with the times but**

**alienboi: oml**

**alienboi: i have to tell suga**

**dadchi: ? What ?**

 

**☆**

 

(4:52)

 

**alienboi: suga said he could be your mami**

**gay cATS: thats pretty hot**

**dadchi: I am confused**

**alienboi: youll know soon daichi**

**alienboi: dont worry**

**alienboi: suga will show you a good time**

**dadchi: dont threaten me with a good time**

**gay cATS: jesus fuck**

**gay cATS: you turned him emo oikawa**

**alienboi: fi]uck**

**alienboi: thast actually funny**

**alienboi: diachi can we get a video of you sayign that in a deep voice**

**dadchi: Why?**

**alienboi: whynot**

**dadchi: Because I said no**

**dadchi: And no means no**

**gay cATS: consent is key oikawa**

**alienboi: heck**

**alienboi: gotta blast**

**alienboi: iwa chans arms are waiting for me**

**gay cATS: you: gotta blast**

**gay cATS: me an intellectual: i am in need of departing from the current position that i am in by means of an aerospace travel mechanism**

**alienboi: fuck you you fucker**

**gay cATS: calm down there buddy**

 

**☆**

 

(9:12)

 

**alienboi: youre way too beautiful girl**

**brokuto bro: aww thank you**

**alienboi: thats why itll never work**

**brokuto bro: wow**

**brokuto bro: im speechless you complimetn me and then say well nevr work**

**alienboi: youll make me suicidal when you say its over**

**brokuto bro: i would never break up with oyu oikawa**

**brokuto bro: dont worry**

**alienboi: theyll have you suicidal, suicidal when they say its over**

**brokuto bro: id ditch kuroo for you**

 

**☆**

 

(9:58)

 

**gay cATS: fuck you bo**

**gay cATS: i thought we had something**

**gay cATS: you hoe**

 

**☆**

 

(10:47)

 

**alienboi: i take you to the candy shop**

**brokuto bro: thats a really cute date idea**

**alienboi: oml it is**

**alienboi:...**

****

 

****

 

****

 

****

 

****

 

****


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> note

wow, its been a long time, almost a year and two months. i am so baffled by how many kudos, hits, comments this got, i can not thank you guys enough and i doubt any of you are still on this website. life has changed so much, and im mostly grateful for it. i wish all of you the best of luck in your lives and i might continue writing.


End file.
